Old People (and Old-Ish People) are Awesome

1. An old person while clothes-shopping, referring to a cropped shirt: "yes, showing your umbilicus is all the rage."  The saddest thing is, I'm related to her.

2. This is about a different old person ... actually, an old-ish person.  In the middle of my homeroom class, she goes, "hey (my name), I hope you don't catch fire!"  Yeah.  For no reason.  How was I supposed to respond to that, by the way?!  "Thanks"?  "I hope you don't either"?  WHAT?!

3. Okay, this is a conversation between me and the same old-ish person as in point #2.  So she can remain anonymous, we'll call her O-IP (old-ish person).

O-IP: Are you sad?

Me: No ...

O-IP: No, me neither.

This conversation was completely out of the blue.  No one said anything about anyone being sad beforehand ... she just started talking.

What's Wrong with This Sentence?

"Then the three of us will look like twins!"  -- player on an online game

Ah, Facebookers.

Okay, sooo, a friend of a friend of mine had a pic of different food-thinggies and was tagging people as them.  One of those was a carrot.

Person 1: hey, *name of person 2* whyd u tag me as a carrot ... whats a carrot anyway???
Person 2 (tagger): haha idk but i guess its a food

Sorry We've Been Gone for so Long!

Here's an old one I forgot to put up:
Person: (looking in the front of "Wicked," where there's a map of Munchkinland)  But I thought Munchkinland wasn't real!!!

No Title Fits this Story

(In a pool)
Person 1: Don't kick so much when you swim.
Person 2: Why?
Person 1: Because you're splashing a lot, and I swallow all of the water you kick up.  Have you HEARD of dry drowning?
Person 2: Um, we're in the water.
Person 1: SO???
Person 2: So, wouldn't it just be drowning?
Person 1: Oh.  Riiiight. 
  

Sometimes, I Wonder How this Student Survives.

Student:  So I just realized that (part of project) was on separate paper, not in my notebook, and I forgot to turn it in.  Is now too late to turn it in?
Teacher:  Well, no, it's not!  But that was due ages ago, the grades are already submitted.  Yes, I'm eating lunch.  (This was actually true, she WAS eating lunch.  Still.)
Student:  ...So... is it too late?
Teacher:  (Exasperated noise) Yes, yes.

Well.  'Kay then.

We're SOOOO Jealous!!!

Of http://www.mlia.com/, who have, as well as other things, ZILLIONS of lame stories!!!
Hopefully, by advertising for them, they'll realize how awesome we are, and we can become (drumroll) PARTNER LAMENESS SITES!!!
So, if anyone from MLIA is reading this, yeah. We're aweseome and have VALUABLE LAME STORIES and you guys have VLSs for us, too. SO WHY DON'T WE JUST COLLABORATE?????
If you aren't from MLIA, then you should still GO THERE (by clicking on our handy little link in the beginning of this post or typing it out).
Mmkay?
Mmkay.
Luv ya all, WFAFs! (Wonderful Fabulous Adoring Fans.)

What did You Think?!

This, by the way is on Facebook chat.

Friend: ...yeah it was fun
Me: yep :D
Friend: so where r u and whatcha doin right now?
Me: um... im on my computer haha.
Friend: well how was i supposed 2 no?
Me: ...cuz im chatting 2 u on fb...
Friend: ohhhhhh rite.

Dear Facebooker, Since that post was so lame, I suggest that you move to the suburbs of Twitter.

This is a facebook status post (sorry, no screenshot!)

today was a funnnn day @ school (: gym class was soo fun. but ppl from my gym class cut class. whats that about?

Comments:
Person #1: um...im in ur gym class.
Failer: yah ik. why werent you at class?
Person #1: cuz...we didnt have gym class today.
Failer: WHAT?!!
Person #1: yah you totally skipped spanish class, and senora rosa said u failed the final.
Person #2: since that post was so lame, I suggest you move to the suburbs of Twitter.

maybe you should take a nap...you seem a little out of it.

This was an e-mail sent to me, and 5 other people. A reply all conversation, if you will.

Person #1: hey everyone!! missed those fun reply all conversations we had. so I decided to revamp and restart them!
Person #2: wahoooo!!!
Person #3: wow y'all are weird.
Person #2: Hey!
Person #1: lets talk about random junk!
Person #4: I remember these dumb conversations!
Person #1: Dumb? You better try that again, Person #4.
Person #4: And by annoying I mean amazing!
Person #4: And by amazing I mean spektakular!
Person #4: Wait i never said annoying...did I?
Person #4: And by sPectakuler I mean GREATTTT!
Person #5: What the heck are you saying?
Me: maybe you should take a nap...you seem a little out of it.

The Reason Aspirin was Invented...

(Posting for her. Again. Someday I'll have my own material again, and she'll be back on T.S.N.T.P.)
Friend#1: Church today! I'm awake at 6:45 and ready to go
Friend#2: I'm with ya

Friend#1: um no ur not...I'm just here with my brother.

Friend#2: I didn't mean it literally
Friend#1: Then why'd you say...??
Friend#2: ...

Friend#1: OHH I GET IT NOW!!!
Friend#2: I'm with ya
Friend#1: ??
Friend#2: oh.my.god

It Might be Best Not to Go on Facebook Until You're Awake.

(Again, posting for my colleague)
A post on Facebook:
"Hahahaha. Facebook just said in my notifications that '_______ likes your estado' Its suppose to say 'status" not 'estado'? Right? lol"
Then, a while later:
"oops...my language is set to spanish"

It's Called a Calendar.

(By the way, I'm typing this one for my co-blogger, I didn't find it.)
On Facebook, someone had written:
"Haha I'm ready for school at 7:30am...thats a new record."
...But it was a Sunday.

"You're the one who's talking"

Like T.S.N.T.P.? You can Support Us on Facebook!

First of all, if you don't know about Pieces of Flair, you should totally get an account. On Facebook, type "Pieces of Flair" in the search box and go to the first app that comes up. Figure out how to set up your board and then go to the "browse" tab. In the "browse" search bar type "T.S.N.T.P."
We're also working on getting T.S.N.T.P. a page on Facebook which you can become a fan of, but it hasn't actually happened yet. Keep watching for it, though!

...HUH?!...

Innocent middleschool student in the hallway: "Hi."
Teacher who needs their brain reprogrammed: "OOPS!!!"

And nothing happened that would call for an "OOPS!!!". Like, the teacher didn't slip, or anything. I don't really know if that's lame or just WEIRD, but I feel like I should make a record of it anyway. You T.S.N.T.P. readers don't mind, do you?

Another Overheard Conversation and, Whoa...

(In perfectly normal voices)
"You go to hell."
"No YOU go to hell."
"No YOU go to hell."
"No YOU go to hell."
(etc.) 
Yep. Wow.

Lame conversation between two best friends, one of whom was celebrating her sixteenth birthday.

"Hey can I have a piece of that chocolate?" inquired the one who was turning sixteen that day.
"NO!" exclaimed the other, shoving the birthday girl's hand away.
"Why not?"
"Because it cost a lot of money!"
"Its CHOCOLATE!"
"Its not like its your birthday," said the other jokingly.
"Actually, it is. I'm turning sixteen. And you're uninvited to my birthday."

Yikes.

Keep track of the days, or you'll majorly fail like this guy

You Know What? I Think We're Better off Not Knowing how this Conversation Began.

"No, no, no, that's a lie, of COURSE I like jeans, they're not yellow..."
This was said by a kid who is the kind of kid people give funny looks and steer clear of. You know, the kind of kid who literally says ANYTHING that pops into their brain?
But STILL!

Overheard Conversation Between a Middle School Math Teacher and his Girlfriend

"And then so I was eating bread..."
Yeah. Great way to impress your gf.
By the way, I just wanna let you know that these posts are really TRUE!!! They did happen!!!

Go Back to Middle School And Practice your Addition and Subtraction